Este momento mágico es para leer al lado de Berlín, escuchando desde mi ventana el reguetton de losvecinos 💖( que apropósito me distrae, ya que me sé las canciones),ponerme mascarillas y rezar para que llegue mi nueva agenda bando que encargué por internet.
Just because I smile I don't have to be happy.
It's quite the opposite. When I feel powerless and desperate but meet someone I will do my best to look happy and cheerful.
I am afraid of showing that I can be depressed and hopeless and try to hide it.
I even realised that the worse I feel the happier I try to appear. I feel like I take the blame for the situation I am in because it was my decision to not eat and I could change it so easily - simply eat. (Haha so simpel in theory...) And thus I am not allowed to be unhappy and get pity for my situation.
I wear the smiling face as my mask and am meanwhile really good at wearing it.