Today I am one year sober... and the gratitude that I feel in the face of this milestone is measureless. After the tragic events of Manchester, with the senseless loss of life and the fear that came from knowing my family was unsafe and that I was completely powerless to protect them, I went to a very dark place with no tools to handle the feelings that came along with the devastation of the attack. I tried to pull myself out of the darkness by drinking and abusing prescribed drugs as I had done in the past for so many other reasons... but that only made the hole that I was trying to crawl out of even deeper. The party life that had once given me so much confidence and comfort had turned into a nightmare where I never felt more alone. I remember lying on my bathroom floor after a night of drunken debauchery believing my life had reached the point where living was just too painful and I was envisioning any way to stop the constant torment... I finally had the courage to ask for help. I got help... and I am here today because with that help I discovered that the path to the light was not in drowning my sorrows, but in facing them head on... in sobriety.
I am here today as an example
to all that have gone through a personal hell or are going through it right now, whatever that hell might be for you, that you can become whole again. In fact, you can become STRONGER than you ever thought possible. I am a new man, and the man you see before you is the one I was always meant to be. This decision to be sober is a lifetime decision. I live without needing a drink or a drug to change the way I feel or perceive my circumstances and outcomes. I have repaired relationships I previously thought unsalvageable and I am living my best TRUEST life. I have never been happier. I have never been healthier. I have never been so free.
So let’s all celebrate my one year of sobriety together... may it be the first of many... and if you have ever found yourself in a cycle of depression where you are drinking and/or using to excess and you believe that there is no way out i am here to tell you there is help out there! You are ABSOLUTELY NOT ALONE!
for help contact:
AA: (212) 870-340
there is no option. i am #teameureka through and through. working with @eurekaohara was one of the greatest privileges of my life. she is professional, kind, clever, funny, joyful and gracious. we have not only kept in touch since our episode of @rupaulsdragrace but have become true friends. she’s always there for me and she has SLAYED THIS SEASON OF #dragrace!! So come join #TEAMEUREKA. Not only because she’s the best, but because she’s... well... the best! 😍❤️👑
today was such a magical day, with such a magical group of friends... thank you @disneyland for treating us like the princesses we are. 😘
happy birthday to my incredible mother @joangrande. you have always been there for me, every second of every minute of my entire life and there are no words in the world that can express how much you mean to me. i love you mommy. happy birthday. 🖤
Thank you for coming with me on this amazing and emotional adventure across California. I can not believe we biked 545 miles! It was your stories and your words that kept me going, as well as the amazing people I met along the way. My life will be forever changed because of @aidslifecycle, and I can’t wait to do it again next year! 🙏💕❤️
Beyond grateful! The first half of this journey has been beautiful, challenging, heartwarming, emotionally draining, physically exhausting, triumphant and completely worth every single pedal stroke. Thank you @aidslifecycle for this beautiful ride over the rainbow! 🌈 🚵🏼♂️💕