I sometimes drift off and fantasize hearing my family say "I may not see what you're envisioning and I can't feel what you experience when you think of it; but I still believe in you". .
I'm constantly reminded of my debt, my fucked up history, and the reality that the world doesn't like poor little black girls...so why keep trying? I get so envious when I see people sharing pictures with their family support and here I am...labeled difficult, stubborn, black sheep, and lost. .
No more pity party. This is where your parents messed up when they raised you. They told you that you can be ANYTHING you want. Then at a certain age they flipped and changed their minds. (You can be anything but THAT). It's too late. I believed you the first time. I'm so grateful that you gave me life and helped me to survive but now it's time to be like Little Red Riding Hood and face the wolf on my own.