“This is an apology to my body, and all the ways I tried to burn it down🦋🌸“ -
October 16th 2008, ten years ago today since I was discharged from my first inpatient admission for anorexia nervosa. Ten years that have passed, since I got the help I needed. In those ten years, I relapse twice. I was fighting my body for something I could never achieve. I was on the verge of death. But I fought back. And im proud of where I am today. Although I would not consider myself “recovered”. Anorexia is something that never really leaves you. Ten years and I still don’t have a healthy relationship with food. When something doesn’t go the way I want it to, my head still tells me it’s because I’m too big, I’m not good enough and I’m a waste of space. I still struggle 10 years after my first admission. The habits, the thoughts, the flashbacks, I don’t think it’ll ever leave.
I don’t want to tell you that sob story. What I want is to raise awareness. There’s so many people out there who are struggling. I may not look sick anymore but in my head it’s still a mess. So try to be kind and understanding, try not to judge or be means, because you never know what a person is struggling with. ♥️